The more things (don’t) change

On the one hand, I was disappointed to read this news. On the other hand, I wasn’t at all surprised. After the outcome of the sexual assault trial, there was part of me that wanted to believe the trial still to come, in June, would be the one to give survivors what they need. But a larger, more realistic (some might say jaded) part of me acknowledged that what would happen was what always happens.

Nothing. No appreciable change in the landscape for survivors of sexual assault, vis a vis the legal system.

I wish I had more to say about this, but this familiar feeling is just the good old patriarchy doing what it does best. Grinding on. So I’ll leave you with these sentiments, expressed on Twitter last night by the excellent Scacchi Koul: “Don’t let Ghomeshi do an apology tour. Don’t read his book, don’t watch his documentary, don’t let him work. Poison his legacy.”

Meanwhile, we roll the boulder up the hill. Join in anytime.


2 responses to “The more things (don’t) change”

  1. What I hope women take away from the Gomeshi affair is this:

    1. if you feel you have been assaulted, act sooner rather than later
    especially if later is 10 years . .
    2. Resist the temptation to contact the person who assaulted you
    that includes sending photos, flirty emails, invitations – NO CONTACT is best
    3. Be truthful – if you stick to the facts, you cannot get your story wrong, the truth,
    is the truth, is the truth.
    4. If you do not think you are being taken seriously by law enforcers, do something
    about it. Bring someone with you when you report the assault.
    5. Keep good records of whom you speak to, what they’ve said, and follow up.
    6. If you are dealing with someone who has a ”reputation” then stay away from that
    person, or don’t ever be alone with them.

    If we do not think there is room for change then we are victimizing ourselves over and over again, Instead, let us make sure the system serves us,let us learn to use it to our advantage. Let us be empowered and demand justice.

    • Thanks for these thoughts. I’m not sure these things are entirely in the control of victims in the immediate aftermath of an assault. I’m also in favour of whatever reforms and societal shift lifts the burden of this from the shoulders of victims/survivors and places it on the system/abusers.

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